Sunday, 5 June 2016

Already 2016

Time flies too fast. Yesterday i was 24. Today i am 26!
And yes.. as u've expected i am not yet married, not even close to any romantic relationship. Yup. Totally alone! Single and totally fine.


Who am i kidding. Nope i'm not totally fine. I'm worried. People are getting married n have kids. I àm not getting younger. I need at least to have one kid and a romantic relationship with my husband. U see, i'm a gooie romantic person and where am i going to channel my hopely irresistable romantic self when i'm not even married! Sometimes, i wish i were a man.. not gay! But male verson of me. Ladies who date the male version of me would be the luckiest gal ever!

Thursday, 7 May 2015



money to shop till drop *kaching*
surrounded by good company of friends
the smell of home

7 MAY 2015

i felt half of my life is complete.
i got a job.
a lecturer.
a job which i truly grateful. people are dying for this job and i got it.

I got my own salary.
not too much. but enough.
now i can buy anything i want, i can give money to my parents. i can plan my future.

never felt grateful. 

the only thing missing is a husband

Monday, 17 November 2014

hey mister..

i believe it does


*cant wait to have my own money*

Friday, 14 November 2014

66 kg

I just needed to remind myself how fat i used to be.
I felt really huge. and these pictures were the turning point for me to start dieting!
THIS was my heaviest self!

height : 164 cm
weight : 66 kg
bmi : 24.84 (another 0.15 towards overweight) :(

i cant believe how saggy and pale and sememeh i looked.
and those cheeks... urghhh. bloated!

look at those fat cheeks! nope. u dont look cute aiman. u looked cubby!

i never relised this but lately i like to wear baggy pants, not because it is in fashion.. but because all the slim fit pants will reveal my fat chicken legs and i hate it so much. Instead of toning down those fat legs, i've decided to buy bigger pants. (TOTAL LOSER!)


urghhhh i felt disgusted with myself!!
How could i let myself be this fat??!!


I'll try to do somethingfor the next 3 months and i hope by then, I'm as slim and fit as the victoria secret supermodels.
no joking here. I really am furious with you, fat girl!!!
look what u have done with yourself. 

to be continued.......................

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

I can. Yes I can!

To this point, i have bragging endlessly about getting thinner and healtier and work out and towards perfect body. But never have i updated any success i've ever achieved. It is because, all the dieting to no avail. I am still me. My body remains its size without any changes.

However, the word "giving up" is never in my dictionary. So I'm starting over again. *insert pinky swear*

last week during my convocation, i met with my coarsemate who successfully become slim an beautiful!! i know her!! she's huge!! and now she looks so pwettyyyy!!! *jelous! she was fatter than me. So if she can, why cant i??
she's my biggest motivation. She only took 3 months to get to her ideal weight. I managed to interview her on her diet and routine. She did a strick diet - no rice, no oil, exercise 2hours a day, sleep without the fan on (which maybe i cannot be like her but i'll try my own stail)

Then i remembered a blogger who i used to read her blog everyday when i was 17. Cik Epal. i googled her. and to my biggest shock!! she, too, became very thin and healthy and beautiful!! WOW!! She used to be very fat!! i still remember... but now, she is like a total different person.
And so i quickly read her blog.... (after so many years) and found her diet recepies. Alhamdulillah they are very helpful. I am sooooo motivated right now..

The moment i wrote this post, I've already started dieting for 5 days. And InsyaAllah many days to come. I've written a diary on my menu so that i wont over eating and end up regretting.

so.. whoever reading this.. (or maybe nobody hihido motivate me as u could, so i wont fail again this time.

till we meet again. tata

20 FACTS about me

Hello world! hows everything gettin on?
Here today, I'm going to write 20 facts about myself.
Well it has gone viral on the instagram that everybody is writing facts about themselves. and i hv decided not to. At least not on instagram. HELEEWWW i'm not an attention seeker excuse me!

So just let me just write here so nobody can read. (phewww)

20 FACTS ABOUT ME ME me me me....

1. I'm a very very very serious person. Like i dont even know how to not being serious! Boys dont like me coz i dont talk crap.

2. In love with rainy days and beautiful full moon.

3. Love to watch movies especially love stories.

4. Dying to travel the world. How i wish i'm sooooo fucking rich so that i can be in Londan today and Korea the next day.

5. I have emotional issues that i cant even solve my own. one moment i felt sooo happy and the next moment i felt so depress.

6. I don't cry. the range would be seldom to never. I am sometimes amazed of myself of how good i can hold my tears.

7. I'm a private person. I dont go talk about my problems or emotions to people. It is even hard for me to tell stories about my family (even if there are no secrets at all). My parents would be the only human being on this earth that almost knows me well. (still they never knew about my love life) Nobody knows every detail about me.

8.My favorite things to do are staring at the moon and stars. Breathing the rainy wind. Watching the rain. I would be very calm when the rain starts pouring :)

9. I never know what i want in life. Today i might be wanting different thing. Tomorrow would be a whole new different thing.

10. I called myself "Jack of all trades. Master of none".. To this point of life.. i've tried many things but never stick to one. I've done more than 10 businesses, work partime, home tuition, i learned baking, sewing, rollerskating, played guitar, did swimming, painting. I've went to the gym, took slimming supplements, collegens... and a long list of stuff but never have i mastered in any of them. I never finished whatever i've started. My weakest self!! and i hate it!

11. I always want to improve my english skills. My level of proficiency is not up to the standard to become an English lecturer. But i hate reading, hate studying and not doing anything to improve it.

12. I like being a leader because i love the feeling of being superior.

13. to tell the truth, boys annoy me.Yes, this is something i've just realized. My relationship with boys would often last not very long. I will find them annoying at some point. Nope. i dont think its their fault. It is my fault. My sickness. And i dont even know how to cure it.

14. I am blessed to have good friends in my life. They never forgot about me. I like to be with people whom i can be my own self. I felt like sometimes I am the bad friend!

15. i'm alergic to a lot of things!!

16. i still believe in true love. and i'm quite sure one day i will feel it too.

17. to tell the truth, i dont really like kids. and i felt that kids dont like me either. I really hope that one day i will become a mom so that i will be able to learn to love kids. I adore people who looked so genuine with children and play stuff with them. I never know how to behave when i am with kids.

18. I LOVE money!! i wish i could marry money.

19. I hv always wanted to cut down weight since i was 12. I was slim back then, but i wanted to be slimmer. Now that i'm heaver, i want to be lighter. *tak pernah bersyukuq!!

20. I love women with hot bodies more than men. hihi. If i were given a choice to be somebody else, i would want to be scarlett johanson!! look at her body! nobody can beat that!

PHEWWW thats all i guess!!
i just relised it is sssoooooo difficult to write facts about myself!!
it took me months to finish this post! *i swear

ok. till we meet other time. tata